Well what can I write here to break the uncanny silence imposed by whatever the fuck is going on that masquerades as laziness?
Well; a few days ago I got sent a nigerian scam letter from a woman claiming to be from the ivory coast so I replied by sending a picture of Tank Abbott and a copy of my critically acclaimed short story “Wang Justice”. That wasn’t my original plan but I got bored with my original plan; in pursuit of my original plan “gay porn mailing list” entered my google search history. I haven’t cleared my search history yet, I only ever do so about twice a year since i’m not really paranoid about it being found out people really won’t find out anything interesting from it that they don’t already know, it’s not exactly a huge secret that I really really like pornography, in fact the only real difference that seperates pornography from art is that I like it. But the thing that may strike investigators as a suprise would be the phrase “gay porn mailing list” so i’d like to state for the record right now that I am not a gay porn afficianado and I do not typically sign myself up to receive updates about explicit man-on-man relations.
It feels good to put that in public writing; interestingly enough “gay porn mailing list” isn’t such an exciting search term to browse, part of my decision to abandon my original plan (re: nigerian scam letter) was the fact that I could not promptly find a gay porn mailing list to use as part of my scheme within 4 clicks, 4 clicks is pretty much all the effort I traditionally spend on recreational google searches to use as part of any scheme designed only to give me a cheap thrill. I guess people whose email addresses I do have can take solace in the fact that I am unable to find my own gay porn mailing list, in fact i’m not that great at finding gay porn full stop; my previous curiosity regarding gay porn in 720p was in fact not satisfied by a search of my own. I guess it’s not unreasonable to assume that my subconcious and latent homophobia have linked arms to create a barrier between me and the image of multiple young black thugs enjoying the other’s taut and masculine flesh while they take turns pounding each other in the sphincter – in HD.
This article contains exactly 420 words. I’d like to see you assholes do that.